Taking a Day at a Time

So...this morning when I woke up I knew that my heart has just been in the completely wrong place lately.

I've been selfish and have had lack of self control and done whatever I've been wanting to do. It hasn't felt like that outright, but I knew that this was what I was doing. God's best wasn't in my intentions and motivations for anything I had been doing lately. I was just waiting for his timing and not doing anything to try and glorify and please him while I was waiting.

So I need a heart check...I need to speak the Gospel to myself. So from the creation of time to Jesus' resurrection and the promise of His return I said the whole story to myself as though I were telling it to someone for the first time as I got ready for my day. When I got finished it was as though I came down to reality and realized that the story I had told was no story, and that the Father who was so wrathful, just, merciful, loving and so open to hear the cries of his children was real and here for me. I felt immediately humbled that Jesus would die for someone like me in all of my sin...that after all of the horrible junk and wrong attitudes I had been displaying in my heart that He still bridged the gap between me and God. He still was the atonement in my place, and still is. It amazed me again for the hundredth time.

Before this morning I had realized that I needed to change my mindset and how I was viewing my time and how I spent it. I didn't know how I could change it...so I asked God to give me a clean slate and just do and go where he wanted me to. Take it a day at a time. Just a day at a time.

With the help of my calender in my phone, I was able to write down all that I needed to for my week so I didn't have to keep trying to hold in my head. That helped tremendously.

Monday was my final for my class and so I am off for the summer! I was thankful for that.

As far as work has gone I didn't get any hours in this week at all...our store hasn't been too busy so they haven't needed me. It's been a bummer, but next week looks like it's gonna be better.

But in light of not getting enough hours I've been looking to see what I can do for a better way of income. For a while now I had been thinking about the possibility of teaching....

Now...I have to state right now that teaching has been an absolute downright, "No." for the past year and half or so. My teacher and family has shared very clearly that I am qualified to teach but I have been very stubborn and against it for a long time. The reason being that I don't care for the fine arts very much and I would rather do other things with art/crafts than teach painting.

For reasons unknown to me, I began to actually consider and get IDEAS for teaching art. I knew it was God 'cause seriously...I was so stubborn about not teaching.

But I had said, "When I feel confident I'll do it...and because I'm so against it I have this feeling God's gonna make me at some point."

I thought it would be a drudgery and that I'd do it because I needed money and all my other options ran out. But I've come to realize that it's not the way I thought it would be and am actually excited for the ideas that I'm planning.

The other thing I'm excited about is that I am finally doing something with my Photography. I rented books from the library and am actually studying. Something I thought I had no time for before. But nothing has really changed since I thought...nothing but my mindset of my time.

I see evidence of God's hand working in my life so clearly lately that it's kinda creepin' me out in a good way! I haven't been doing much at all...but somehow God is moving me along more than I've been for a long time.

Why is he doing this for me?

I've done nothing for him. Nothing at all...

I am humbled and in wonder of what he desires to do with me.

'Where You lead me, I will follow. Where You lead me I give myself away. Where You lead me, I will follow. Forever and a day.' -MercyMe