A New Season

Where to even start?

Well, yesterday was my last day at Chick-Fil-A.

Although I did truly enjoy working there for the most part, and love everyone I worked with, I knew that my husband had always given me the chance to do something different and be pursing things that had been tugging on me for a long time. Things like really delving into teaching art, sewing, Japanese and photography...



I was planning on posting some pictures to try and make this post more interesting...give something to look at rather than read of all of this. Then I went looking for a certain blog that I was told had a good photographer. I finally found it here: My 5'2 View

A young lady from my church, Allison's, blog. I found it and was seriously amazed by the talent this girl has. My Dad was the one who recommended it and he wasn't kidding when he said she was gifted.

Then I went and found one of my art student's (and a young man also from my church) blog since another friend recommended me to look at it for his raw talent (granted I did know he was gifted since I'm actively watching him work on art projects). I found David's blog here: Diligent Disciple

After looking at these two blogs I wanted to throw up my hands!

What have I been doing all my life?!

These kids are doing way harder stuff in school then I ever did and yet school was super hard for me in general. Was I just not motivated? Was I stupid or something? 'Cause they're doing school AND posting fun artsy things! I know for sure that I had all these ideas and things I wanted to do but geez! I'm just now starting to pursue them!

I have been blogging since I was their age (15 and 13)! It just doesn't compare! Psh, forget this afterall!


   When I was growing up when I was asked that question that everyone asks, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I always answered,

"A wife and a mom."

That seemed to be the logical explanation. When I was really little there just wasn't anything I could think of. I didn't wanna be a teacher or a fire(wo)man. As I got older and understood reality I knew I couldn't go to school to be anything you'd need to go to school for (I'm not smart enough for that). And when I really became a young adult it seemed like most of what my friends were shooting for took a tremendous amount of work, talent, money and a lot of time to reach....things seemed too far to reach. Maybe I even thought they were fantasies.

I didn't realize it until very recently that I've probably always been thinking that way.

When my art teacher of 8 years told me I could teach I didn't believe her. I didn't see that I could possibly do that. I didn't have that confidence.
And like I've written before, that changed, by God's grace.

Initially I think I do feel like I should throw in the towel. I feel like maybe this wasn't a good idea to pursue these things afterall. I mean, look at these kids! They truly have the talent! I thought I was pretty good...Why should I pursue things when they so obviously and naturally smoke me?


Funny...

Before...I would've given into those feelings. I would've given up already. I would've gone on with my life knowing the little I know and getting by with what I get by with. The little things I know about photography, the small class I teach and the little Japanese I know.

But this time it's different.

And I'm thinking that this is why I truly believe God is leading me this way.

When I told my boss that I was going to do this she nodded very understandingly and said (with her wonderful southern accent), "We gotta follow where God leads us or we'll end up in the belly of a whale."


In my story about how the last thing I wanted to do was teach and then one day God gave me the ideas and confidence to finally do it, it was all Him.

 Initially...and naturally....when I see others who far surpass me in some skill I thought I wanted to seriously pursue, I would give up in my heart. I'd settle for what I had. I'd feel defeated and wonder why I even thought I had anything in the first place.

But this time it's different.

Why would I feel defeated anyway?

Because I didn't have the money? The tools? The ability? The perseverance? The patience? The faith? The TIME?

I wanted those things.

And for the first time, I felt the confidence that I did and could have them and I wanted to finally face this challenge.


So, with help from some wise counsel (my Mom), and understanding that my husband was willing to try different things, I brought to him a schedule to show him what things I desired to learn and grow in and that I wanted to be actively pursuing them, being productive and treating it as though it were my job. Amongst my interests were the things I needed to do: Keep the house clean and tidy and learn to cook better (the primary amongst a few). I had the confidence suddenly. I wanted the change.


It came from the Lord...
'Cause that's just not me.

So with tears I left a job today that I had learned so much from. Where I had gained great friendships and had so many great experiences. Where I was blessed in so many ways. And although I know that I will see them all often, and I pass by the store down the street just about everyday....goodbyes are hard.

Another page turned, Lord? Another season passed?

Where are You taking me now?